Soliloquy

Soliloquy

Peeping at the night sky from behind my bedroom curtain –

Veiled from the world’s curious gaze;

Squinting my eyes,

Hoping to turn every distraction into a soft, muddled haze..

I giggle softly –

Hum a song completely out of tune,

I wonder why this is the only space

Where I can lower my guard and croon..

I hold my hand out, 

Watching the silver moonlight dance on my palm – blithe and formless,

And watch enchanted,

Knowing that the moment I close my fingers, all I’ll hold is a damp clump of darkness..

There’s so much I want to verbalize,

Unspoken confessions, grumbled accusations, obstinate resistance..

A child who demands to be taken seriously,

Yet an adult who wants to get away with nothing but stubborn insistence.

As the first rays of sunlight threaten to dissolve the night,

A veil of conjured maturity gently replaces the moonlight on my fingers..

And as I scamper to put away the unseemly scraps of my impudent heart,

In the final wink of of the fading moon, an undying promise to patronize my soliloquy lingers.